The Past

I don't like half-way measures, nor abstract ideas. I have decided that resenting the past is rife with both these things. For example I start thinking "What exactly am I resenting? Individual acts? the ideas that led to them? the people around the event?" Far too much ambiguity I think. And how far back do we go? What led to what really? If that one shitty thing hadn't happened in '88, would you have done that other thing in 99? Who can say?!? I start to think, why stop part way down the path? So, I plan to stop with half way measures and ambiguous blame throwing, and start blaming my mother. That's right, my mother. It is concrete, she's sitting right over there, and she is obviously the root of it all (for if she had only been able to push my father off none of this would have happened). This way I no longer have to blame myself or look to the future (it only contains more crap), or generally work to make things better. And now at least I have someone to blame.