Retail Therapy

So I have not been feeling well lately. No, not a cold or any such thing. Some recent events have had me down. To name a few, but only a few; a vast amount of work over the past two weeks, mostly revolving around unthankful kids and their even more unthankful parents, the fact that more work is looming without an end in sight, the Superbowl (not the fact that the Seahawks lost, but that the Superbowl EXISTS), stupid men (perhaps redundant, I know...), and to top it off earlier today I made the mistake of listening to some of the NSA wire tapping hearings. I was struck by two things very quickly; Senators are a vastly stupid group of people, and Alberto Gonzales is very smart. If only his powers were used for good and not evil....

I was, for lack of a better word, depressed. And agitated. And snippy. This lasted through my lessons with my students. I have also been bothered by what I had observed lately as the obvious and pervasive apathy that so many of my students, and other students I was working with, had for the music they were making. Where any of them actually ENJOYING they music that they were making? Where those transcendent sounds of Brahms moving any part of their souls?? I didn't feel as though they were, and so today I told them all as much. They looked at me like I was a mad man speaking some strange and silly language. This did not make me feel any better, in fact quite the contrary.

Also I have a flat tire. Well, to clarify, it is not completely flat, but that's only because I fill it back up with air every day. I have not had time to take it to get fixed, so I go to my car each day hoping it's not completely flat on the ground and it will get me to the gas station one more time. It is annoying, like only car problems can be annoying. This has not helped my mood.

So tonight it was obvious that I needed to take things into my own hands, and I did. I called my band director friend and told him I would not be attending our community band rehearsal tonight because I had a growing head ache. I did not tell him that it was an existential head ache, but I didn't figure the distinction was relevant. It was time for therapy of the highest and most American of all therapies.

I have some cash flow right now from all the work of the past few weeks. It's fucking nice. It's REALLY fucking nice, 'cause it don't happen very often. I came home and paid all my bills. I love doing this, because I sometimes cannot pay them all and it's stressful. To sit down and pay EVERY LAST ONE of them, and still look at my bank account and say "HOLY SHIT!!", in a GOOD way!, is very very nice.

My next step proved to be my crowning achievement in this self administered therapy treatment. I called my friend David, aka Sable Odessa, and made him go shopping with me. Shopping is fun period. Shopping with a drag queen is a non stop riotous jaunt of hilarity, I highly recommend picking one or two up before your next outing to Macy's. You never knew that kitchen cleaning supplies could be so tawdry or that so many scathingly witty comments could be hurled at window mannequins and their oh so tragic hair.

This is what I bought;
At Bed Bath and Beyond
1) New towels for the bathroom, one for me and one for my roommate, because I'm that nice of a guy and because it will look better if they match.
2) Picture frames to put pictures up around the house that make me happy.
3) A very large and decadent candy bar, which I savored as I walked to the Gap, spiting my diet and workout gleefully with each and every delicious bite.

At The Gap
1) Practical jeans. They were "straight fit", which seems exclusionary and I don't approve, but they fit great despite the name. False advertising if you ask me. Perhaps I will sue.
2) Hot jeans. Ones that make my ass look great. Ones that will make my ass look even better after 2 more months of working out. Ass Pants. Ass Pants ON SALE. I rest my case Mr. Gonzales.

I tried to find more to buy, but then I remembered that I'm going in tomorrow to buy two new tires for my car, thus solving the fact that it has not driven very well for the past two years with two pairs of mismatched tires on it, and that one of the tires that is about to be replaced has a leak in it (see above). At this point I felt satiated for the night knowing I would spend more the next day, and would STILL have money left in my account! Ahhhhhhhh....

But just when I thought the night couldn't get any better, it did. I hopped online to play some heroin- I mean World of Warcraft, and found that my wonderful Hawai'i boys were already online. They have had house guests and have not been around much at all, and I have missed them. We didn't get to play long, but it was enough, I still have a smile on my face and it will stay with me all through the night.

I think after getting new shoes on my car tomorrow I will look over the bank account, add up the damage, see what's left over and treat myself to a massage. That should get me through the next couple of months until my bank account has recovered, the world has become tedious once more, and another session of therapy will again be needed.