So a tragedy of epic proportions was leveled at the Seattle gay community today. On this, the 9th of December, the movie "Brokeback Mountain" DID NOT OPEN here. It seems that it has only opened in New York and L.A., those cities of decadence who just get everything. There will be no viewing of Jake-on-Heath lovin' for this homo or any others in this city. We will have to wait for yet another agonizing week for our chance to witness the greatness, and the hotness, of this movie. For some, the wait may just be too much....
Ok, so that's all overly dramatic, but I'm gay and I spend too much time with drag queens, it can't be helped sometimes. But I am a bit pissed. This movie is generating all sorts of Oscar buzz, and it's only getting a limited release. And I want to see it. Don't they know that I want to see it?!? But I will rant no more on that topic, something else has got me riled up.
I play a particular game online. It will remain nameless, it's identity is inconsequential. Suffice to say that on said game there is a "gay guild" and there is constant gay banter floating up the screen as you play this game. I voiced my displeasure about the movie not opening here this morning and was more than a little surprised by the response.
Some commiserated and wanted to see it too, but could not since it was not opening in their locations either. We joked about whether Jake was hotter or Heath, and all was good. Then the comment was made that an interview given by Heath Ledger was seen where he said that having to kiss another man nearly made him puke. I have not substantiated this as fact or fiction, yet, and it is ultimately beside the point. When I stated that I found that degrading and insulting to gays I was shocked by the response. People came out of the woodwork to defend Heath's statement. Comments such as "Well it would nearly make me puke to have to kiss a woman like that!!" or "He's just an actor!! If he has to say that to prove his masculinity that's ok!!" or "It's ok if you don't like homosexuals, it's your right to have your opinion and to state that opinion".
Now all of those comments I would expect from any number of right wing groups (just exchange "woman" for "man" in the first one), but coming from a big group of homos I was disturbed. Especially by the last statement. If it's my opinion that kissing a black person or a Jew makes me want to puke, few people would jump to my defense, unless there are KKK members floating around at the time. To actually have gays defend a comment like that is horrifying, and goes to show us all the pervasive quality of anti-homosexual rhetoric and thought. It even makes US think we don't deserve respect.
I got into a small argument with my mother a few weeks ago. She off-handedly said that seeing two men kiss made her feel uncomfortable. She claims to not have a problem with my being gay, or anyone being gay, so I was surprised by that statement. I told her I was surprised, and asked why she still had a problem with gays. She said she didn't have any problem, it just made her uncomfortable. "If you don't have any problem with gays," I replied, "you wouldn't mind seeing them kiss." She got upset, but we ended up having a very good conversation about the entire topic.
The fact is that I can see exactly where she's coming from. It was a shock to her life when I came out to her, she had never known a gay person in her life and had never had to deal with the prejudice that had seeped into her through osmosis by just living in this world. She has done a wonderful job of accepting and even embracing me and the whole notion of homos, but this thing still lingered. That it lingered is one thing, it proves how insidious these feelings are. That she tried to claim it was ok and in step with her acceptance of me and gays in general is another.
We rationalize away our prejudices more often than we know. We don't even realize what we're doing until confronted with the fact, and even then it is sometimes not enough. Opinions are the right of every person, certainly, but that doesn't mean that your opinion are RIGHT. For Heath Ledger to say (allegedly, and I hope he didn't because I want to like him) on a mass media circuit that kissing another man nearly made him puke is not going to be helpful to a group of people fighting for acceptance. To think it has no negative effect is naive, and to claim that "making this movie was a huge step, he can say what he wants!" is irresponsible. To have those comments coming from the very group of people it would be harming is terrifying.
I heard a great comment on the radio from the lawyer for Jim West, Spokane's recently recalled gay mayor (another story all together). He said the people out for West's blood were people who could not accept this "human reality of homosexuality". While this begs all sorts of statements about West's situation and West himself, I think that statement is the best summation of the issue I have ever heard.
The reality is that we're not going anywhere, we're not deviants, we deserve respect, we shouldn't make people want to puke, , we should be able to live and love without prejudice we should not have to have this discussion at all. And we especially shouldn't have to have this discussion with ourselves.
Added note: Here is a statment by Jake Gyllenhaal. "I’ve never really been attracted to men sexually, but I don’t think I would be afraid of it if it happened.” Now THAT'S a statment I can get behind! So to speak....
6 comments:
Yeah, I suppose Heath can feel however he wants. But that doesn't mean he's not practicing prejudice. But that's a fine point a lot of people miss.
Jake also said, "I've done sex scenes with women I haven't been attracted to at all and some with women I probably shouldn't be as attracted to as I was. I'd say Heath fits somewhere in between."
As for opinions... I don't think they're wrong. But they can be uninformed or based on bias, and impeached for those reasons.
I've actually heard that quote attributed to one of the Queer As Folk actors that is straight, and it predated Brokeback. For that reason, I don't believe it was said by either Brokeback actor. However, even if it were, I don't think it matters. They're straight. The best we can hope for is ambivalence regarding make-out sessions with men. Failure to love it doesn't mean they're bad, it just means they're straight.
Well, and that they're probably not going to make out with you, either. :)
My concern does not lie in whether Heath or Jake love making out with another guy, or certainly whether they will make out with me (though a boy can dream...), I'm certainly not expecting them to. My issue was with the comments the gays made online. I found the comments uninformed and based on bias, and for those reasons, impeachable. Doubly so because they were coming from the very group in question. It's just disturbing to me, but I'll get over it.
And if Jake wants to come try and make me feel better, well, who am I to turn him down?!
So you are gay, that is interesting because I didn't know that when we were arguing. I just went back to read over the post & comments in the light of this new revelation.(still being a bit mystified by your anger). Weird, as if I thot you being gay had anything to do with it. I thot maybe you went to my blog & said, "Ignorant hillbilly, must be prejudiced, and all that."
Preconceived notions, eh?
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you. so won't say much.
Anyway, just had to come over & say, "Oh, how interesting."
Chow!!
Hello again, L>T. I'm not sure what you were trying to say in that last post, it's a bit cryptic. Are you saying that you think I made the comments I did in the other entry because I thought you were prejudiced against my being gay? Or that I looked at your blog, decided you were an "ignorant hillbilly" and then made my comments accordingly? On both accounts you are off base.
Homosexuality was not the topic of the other post, lack of education and the things that that leads people to do and say was. Perhaps there is some overlap, but again, that wasn't the issue. Political statements, historical cause and effect statements (this happened because that happened), and pseudo-scholarly statements were what had me frustrated.
As for any notions I had or have about you, they are based solely on the words I have read that you have written. I couldn't care less how hill-ish or billy-ish you are. I'm not interested in judging people by their backgrounds, their ethnicity, their sexual orientations, or any other such things. I will judge someone on their actions, their choices, and their own statements. Any disagreements I have with you are based on those things, not some "class and status" determination.
Don't tread on eggshells here. Say what you mean and mean what you say, we'll all get a lot more done.
O.K. point taken. I'm not trying to bug you but,it's a conundrum to me why i can get along with most anyone, but with you...I like to have clear air between myself & other people.
I thot it interesting that i had you veiwed a certain way & then my image changed. It doesn't matter to me whether you are or aren't gay.(well, I won't try to hit on you, HaHa) I guess i thot that prehaps you thot i was a ignorant prejudiced hillbilly. I'm not used to people telling me I'm off base or naive over & over, it's quite frusrating. But on the other hand I don't want some one NOT to tell me the truth of what they think, either.
What you think of me is not as important as whether or not I'm making rational & logical sense or thinking rightly. Some times I base arguments on intuition or emotion rather then logic.
Sorry this is rambling, but I'm trying to figure it out as I go along.
Chow!
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