"If one's home is their kingdom, then we all know where the throne room is.
The throne room here has been an ongoing work in progress, with a new floor, molding, paint job, medicine cabinet, towels and decorative accessories. Today the Royal Water Vestibule, where The Teeth are brushed, the Hands are washed, and the Spit is spat was ripped from the wall, and the sounds of rejoicing t'wer heard upon the land. "
This is how I started this post a few days ago when the Vestibule of Satan and Hell Fire Project was first begun. I was happy then, full of high hopes..... so happy....
Now I am a pent up ball of frayed, frustrated nerves and sore muscles. There have been 5 trips to Home Depot (it is not just around the block either). Each trip I buy new things to try to make this all work, and each trip merely compounds my frustration and lowers my bank account. My eye started to switch today after, yet again, the feed hoses handed to me were the wrong size. Like in the movies, when the person is about to snap and take everyone out in a fit of telekinetic powers and pigs blood, and their eye, just one, twitches, proving that the unjust stress they have suffered has finally pushed them too far. Just like that. :|
But the end is near I think. The latest hose problem was merely that some brilliant person put the wrong hose back in the 1/2" - 3/4" compression slot, because one of them is the correct size. I new valves I have are lesbians too, so I need to get them a Double Headed Dildo Adapter (hey, talk to Home Depot about their product names, not me) so that they can couple up and make sweet fanny pack love to the wall pipe. After that, I believe we're home free. The light is at the end of the tunnel.
Let's just hope, as my esteemed clarinet professor used to say, the light is not the oncoming train.
2 comments:
Plumbing is the result of one humanity's various bargains with the devil. Necessary for city living and civilization as we know it, but draconian and even cruel. I imagine more than one professional plumber no longer owns his own soul.
Now the trap is leaking.... I know a plumber, he makes $65,000 in his first year. Now I know why.
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